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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899216">The Mind of a Menace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfItPaysTheRENt/pseuds/IfItPaysTheRENt'>IfItPaysTheRENt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Jedi, Kyber Crystals, Lightsabers, Retelling, Rise of Skywalker, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:09:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfItPaysTheRENt/pseuds/IfItPaysTheRENt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren is working hard to maintain his legacy and climb to the top of the regime that his grandfather once proudly led. He is skilled in the ways of the Force, and loathes the master that blamed him for massive destruction and made an attempt on his life. </p>
<p>After discovering that his former master is still alive, he must do everything in his power to find him and attain revenge for all that he was put through as a child. While on his journey he encounters something that could challenge the terms of his reign of terror, and his life is changed forever. </p>
<p>Crossposted on Wattpad (@IfItPaysTheRENt) <br/>Takes place around TFA/TLJ.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night always seems darker now than it used to. Nights always last longer here, and I have grown accustomed to the lack of sunlight. When you burn up suns to power your most efficient weapons, the sacrifice is annoying but admirable. When I was younger I heard stories of a place with two large suns, but that seems like a different life to me now. </p>
<p>It is late, and I can’t tell if I’m staring into the ceiling or it into me. Sleep evades me these days, but then, it has always evaded me for some reason or another. My ship is heavily guarded and I can hear the breathing of whatever Stormtrooper was given watch over my room at this hour. Could I find that information out? Sure. But I am learning that letting Hux pretend that he has any control here saves me from participating in pissing contests in the bay. </p>
<p>The Force is- it’s different. For many years, I have felt shifts in the force that I contributed to deaths that were a result of our attacks on the Rebellion. Over the last few months it has changed. </p>
<p>Evidently, Skywalker lives. <br/>That brings my death tally from those days down some, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Voe is dead; Ren is dead; I am responsible. </p>
<p>As the years have passed, and as I have grown in the darkness, those deaths for me have become a mark of two things. My deepest regret, and my deepest pride. I will never forgive myself for what happened to my… friends. </p>
<p>The Knights, however, seem to be better off now than they were before. They have become my handiwork, and instead of killing for fun, they are now highly trained and skilled fighters. I would trust them with my life if I trusted anyone, but one knows how that goes when this is their lot in life. </p>
<p>Snoke tells me that the disturbances I am feeling in the force are nothing; for some reason, I can’t bring myself to agree with him. It is a strength that I haven’t felt since the Temple, and as far as I can tell, it is not coming from anywhere in particular. </p>
<p>The ceiling is mocking me with its slate color and single light panel, which I currently have on, allowing it to cast a soft yellow hue over my sleeping chamber. <br/>Many in my position would have fallen in love with the night sky and the never ending vacuum of space, but I have not. My room is not well lit, but I do not ever let it get dark enough to feel it. When you have darkness in your heart it becomes hard to tell the difference between your thoughts and reality, and because my insides are as empty as space, the light in my room reminds me of where I am. </p>
<p>Who I am. </p>
<p>I sit up and throw my feet over the edge of my bed. I also roll my eyes at the sound of the guard outside straightening up. Relax, I think, if you were doing anything dishonorable you would already be dead. </p>
<p>My mask and cape are still sitting where I carelessly threw them earlier whilst enraged, and I stare at them intently. </p>
<p>Who am I? </p>
<p>I am the son of a failure of man and of an overachieving princess. <br/>I could have ended up a frou-frou princeling, a Jedi, or a filthy smuggler. </p>
<p>My grandfather was the man himself of lore and legend: Darth Vader. A valiant Sith leader, a true disciple of the Dark Side, and everything that I long to become in this short life. </p>
<p>So here I am, not a prince or even a pauper. A commander myself, of the Knights of Ren. My closest companion is Supreme Leader Snoke- if you would call him that. </p>
<p>My family is dead. <br/>My friends are dead. <br/>Ben Solo is dead.<br/>I am alone. </p>
<p>The Rebellion would refer to me as one thing, but I like to call myself Kylo. It reminds me of the identity that I took pleasure in defeating after my uncle’s attempt on my life. </p>
<p>How brilliant will life be when this is all over, and I have claimed the life of Luke Skywalker in return for his actions against me in that temple? </p>
<p>The fact that he is even alive both annoys and surprises me deeply. I was sure that I had destroyed him the night that he thought he might end my life. Nothing would have made me prouder, not even the death of Ren, than to end his life and avenge the parts of my life that I lost thanks to his so-called training. </p>
<p>The light still calls to me, and Snoke says that it always will. The Force must have balance, and that balance can be exhibited perfectly through me. There does not need to be a Jedi following any longer, as the Sith have found themselves a perfect balance within one man. </p>
<p>I’m just happy to oblige someone, for once in my damned life. </p>
<p>BANGBANGBANG</p>
<p>Well fuck. Now someone knows I’m awake.  </p>
<p>“Permission to enter Sir?”</p>
<p>I rise swiftly and place my helmet, that is both beautifully and wickedly crafted to carry on a powerful legacy, onto my head. I clear my throat. “If you must; proceed.”</p>
<p>A man in a navy blue uniform enters the room and salutes me respectfully. As flattered as I could be, he is one of General Hux’ cronies, so I dismiss his formalities with my hand and ask what he needs with me at this hour of the night. </p>
<p>He apologizes swiftly, “Supreme Leader Snoke and General Hux have sent me to give you a message, Sir. They did not want to call a meeting at this hour as they are still making arrangements, but they did want to make you aware.”</p>
<p>Sometimes I dread wearing this mask; I would like people to know how stupid I think that they are just by looking at them. “Which is?”</p>
<p>“Sir, we have received word that someone is trying to get a map into the rebel base. One that shows the exact whereabouts of Luke Skywalker, and how to get to him.”</p>
<p>The young man bows and I tell him to leave. </p>
<p>Rage builds within me as I summon my lightsaber to my hand from its resting spot across the room. It is on, and my vision goes blurry as I destroy every fucking piece of furniture in my sleeping chamber. </p>
<p>Luke Skywalker. Maybe I will be able to get my revenge after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Killing people has become second-nature to me. It is not difficult; I do not feel remorse. To me it is part of this identity that I am striving for. There is no good or evil, just existence, and respect for those in charge of your particular existence is mandatory. The Force proves this to me with its necessity for balance of dark and light- if it didn’t require balance, that would mean that one could overpower the other. </p><p>That does not mean that I have grown soft to the power of the darkness, but instead I like to think of it as a justification to the means. Human nature requires control to enforce the balance, so my natural role in it is leading it. Leadership is easiest when people fear you and don’t ask questions, or at least that’s what I have learned over the years. <br/>I look out over the planet that we are now approaching, and sigh deeply. If only humans valued their own lives over the lives of people they have placed onto pedestals of morality, then nights like this would cease to exist. </p><p>My head is cloudy as I dress for battle. After my outburst last week, my room has since been restocked with new furniture. I might also add that all of it is of higher grade metal, perhaps an idea of Snoke’s to curb the damage that my outbursts cause. My bed, which was normally comprised of a mattress and springs on the floor, was now atop a metal monstrosity of sorts. I guess they want me to look the part, even in the mirror. </p><p>After fastening the buttons of my tunic and pulling on my gloves, I stare into the eyes of my masked helmet. When I killed Ren and assumed his position as the head of the Knights, I had this helmet forged in likeness to my grandfathers. Though unnecessary (to Snoke and Hux), I had the mask added to conceal the rest of my face.</p><p>The face of Ben Solo. </p><p>I picked it up from its newly created shelf (if I ever felt pity for anyone, which is rare in form, it is for the Stormtroopers that exist solely to clean and refurbish rather than face the thrills of battle), and slide it over my head. <br/>Thankfully it is accommodating to my hair, so I don’t have to pull it back to become battle ready. Many legends foretell hair being a symbol of power and oneness with the Force, so it comes as a surprise to no one that mine is long and well-kept. </p><p>My doors open and the guarding troopers escort me, at Hux’s request no doubt, to the loading bay where my ship is waiting. The first wave of attacks have commenced on Jakku in search of the map, and I am assured that we will find exactly what we are searching for within the hour. Snoke has requested that my presence be established and I am in no place to argue. Although it goes to say that Captain Phasma is very well trained and can handle a simple search and retrieve mission like this one, it seems that I have been chosen as a figurehead for the Empire. </p><p>The troopers salute me and then leave to board their own ships. I stare up into my obsidian black shuttle before entering it. If I have learned anything in regard to controlling my feelings, the most important has become that just because one is powerful does not mean that they must turn away from admiring remarkable things. Star destroyers that are well-crafted, powerful armies, and the uniqueness of an individual lightsaber, all intrigue me deeply. <br/>The Finalizer may be what Hux considers his pride and joy, but my transport ship is my own. </p><p>Because in its purest form, it is mine. It is just like me.<br/>A ship that in blueprints was created to serve such a specific purpose and function in a line of others just like it, but customized to reflect the internal power that it gets to carry. </p><p>How General Organa ever flew around in a fancy ship as a simple dignitary before all of this will baffle me for the rest of my days. Command over your ship and the obedience of your legion demonstrate your power- but what would the rebellion know of true allegiance? Every time they call for help from somewhere further away than Hoth, no one comes to their aid. </p><p>All I have to do is raise my voice and whole races of being come to mine. </p><p>We take off into the eternal night sky and even from my seat I can see the fires already blazing on the planets’ surface. Phasma and her command have already been quite thorough it seems. <br/>Our ship lands in the middle of the battle and I am told that our main suspect for possession of the map, a man by the name of Lor San Tekka, has been captured and is awaiting interrogation. <br/>I am a man of simple pleasures; my style of interrogation is one of them. As the door to my ship descends to allow me to exit, I draw my saber and flick on the power. Some of the crew around me flinch as my red lightsaber comes to life in all of its magnificent glory. <br/>Another death that I took pride in- the death of that god-awful blue Kyber Crystal. This saber is much more becoming of a man in my status, and by my status, I mean a man of the Force that is anything but a weakling Jedi. <br/>San Tekka was on his knees at the mercy of Phasma’s newest legion when I approached him. </p><p>“Well, well, well… retirement was not enough for you was it?”</p><p>He was silent. </p><p>I lowered myself to his level, “Where is it?”</p><p>“Where is what?” he spat. </p><p>“The map to Luke Skywalker. Where IS IT?”</p><p>“I have no idea what you are talking about, Ben.”</p><p>I searched his mind and then struck him down hard and fast. </p><p>I looked up at General Phasma, “Decimate this village; what we seek is no longer here.” </p><p>*****</p><p>The screams of the feigned innocent stopped haunting my dreams almost a decade ago. I think that it had a lot to do with Voe’s death, but I will never truly know what my breaking point was. One night I simply went to kill, and was no longer afraid of the mental repercussions.</p><p>Does that make me a psychopath? Of course. No one in my position could be fully sane. I came to terms with that when I discovered that my father was a common criminal to the galaxy. Insanity breeds insanity, and that might be the only genetic similarity that I will ever allow myself to claim of Han Solo. </p><p>It is now hours into the next day and we have heard word that my father has discovered some new companions. He managed to acquire a droid that we are in need of, and the damnable ship that is the Millennium Falcon. We sacked the whole damn planet Jakku to find a simple BB unit and were less than successful. </p><p>I was also made aware of an escaped Stormtrooper from our siege last night who refused to fire on the insubordinate inhabitants of Jakku. </p><p>And because you’re wondering, no, I did not obliterate my bedroom again. I did however, absolutely wreak havoc on some of interior training spaces. If I were a child my saber privileges would’ve been taken away long ago. Instead, I am a high commanding officer in the Empire’s army, tied for second in command over the whole damn thing, and privileged to have space to unleash my power. We have also added about a dozen new trooper jobs to my wing of the Finalizer, due to my.. habits of destruction. </p><p>Some men choose women to unleash their feelings on, I have decided upon white hot rage and the nearest destructible object. Living or nonliving. </p><p>Anyways. The escaped stormtrooper found the droid’s alleged owner, a young woman native to the junk heaps of that disgusting desert planet, and they stole the Falcon ship and took down some of our fighter ships. The commander responsible for training that legion has been severely demoted (which in the language of Sith Lords, means executed) since it was so easy for a fucking child to evade militant force. </p><p>We have tracked the trooper, the droid, the girl, a wookie, and a wanted criminal that wants to lay claim to my heritage all down to the remains of Takodana Castle. Leave it to thieves to go running around with pirates. </p><p>To better our attack approach, General Hux has decided that we need to delay our arrival until we have them comfortable and cornered. I added that it is high time we destroyed any and all of the resistance planets left in this solar system, to set an example for any rebels that want to go searching after Skywalker. </p><p>And whoever this young woman thinks she is, she needs to learn to keep better company. Of course, coming from Jakku, she’s a definitive nobody. The company that she chooses to keep is none of my business.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Why do these godforsaken rebels never go down without a fight? It is a waste of my strength, time, and of First Order resources. They will never be large enough to defeat us, and the only living Jedi left in all of existence is hiding away.</p>
<p>Hiding away in fear of the monster he created, that now assists in ruling the galaxy. Snoke has accused me of hiding before because of my mask, and I have never once disagreed with him. Some hide in fear, others hide in wisdom; I am the latter.</p>
<p>We absolutely blew apart every inch of territory in this system that could’ve belonged to rebels, and then lit into Takodana. While there I discovered the droid to be missing, but also that for whatever reason, the droid had allowed the girl to see the coveted map.</p>
<p>I took her.</p>
<p>Looked into her mind, saw that she had seen it, and decided that this mission was over. I demanded a pull back of forces, slipped her into unconsciousness, and carried her to my ship. She was placed in an interrogation room to wake up, and with nothing better to do, I grabbed myself a stool and sat across from her.</p>
<p>What in the universe could a girl like this be doing around people like Han Solo and an Empire deserter? Is she suicidal?</p>
<p>Deep within my own contemplation, I didn’t realize when she came to.</p>
<p>“Where am I?” she asked. Her voice was strong; unwavering. Not something I would’ve expected coming from a scavenger.</p>
<p>“You are onboard an Empire star destroyer. I believe that you have something I might need.”</p>
<p>Fear flickers across her face in an almost untraceable amount. Her presence in this room is strong. Can she feel the power radiating off of herself, or is she oblivious?</p>
<p>Her eyes wander around the interrogation room, over her own body, and then back over to me. She is strapped down to prevent her escape, and I have no Stormtroopers currently in the room to guard her. As I mentioned earlier, I trust no one. Especially when it comes to discovering the fate of someone I thought that I had murdered.</p>
<p>“What could I have that you possibly need? You are a monster in a mask, hiding. I will never tell you about what I’ve seen or been told.”</p>
<p>“Do you not favor the mask?” I ask, ignoring her other claims.</p>
<p>She will give me what I want, whenever I am ready to take it. The flighty ones always do. Before she can answer, I reach behind me and unhook and remove the entire helmet. “Does this work better for you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Rey’s POV</b>
</p>
<p>I know that it would have been in my best damn interest to stay on Jakku, but Finn had been so convincing about his involvement in the resistance that I was immediately drawn to it. And drawn to him.</p>
<p>Of course, that turned out to be quite the lie, and now I am confined in some kind of restraints across from who I can only assume is the most evil man in the galaxy.</p>
<p>He has not questioned me yet, not how he alluded to back on Takodana. I guess that my accusations had hit a chink in his armor though, because he reached up behind his head as if searching for a weapon.</p>
<p>And then he removed his mask.</p>
<p>His face was quite rugged, like a man that had not quite grown out of boyhood. His eyes and hair were dark, and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a slight smile that caused terror to rise in my blood. I felt like fire and ice were both trying to claw their way out of me at the same time; I had never felt this before.</p>
<p>We had not exchanged identities, but Han had told me about him. Well, he had told me about Ben. Not about Kylo Ren, who by the mask he had worn, I assumed this was.</p>
<p>The man before me looked like he had lived a thousand lives, though barely looked old enough to be thirty. He noticed me examining his features, and stepped closer to me. “Now, about that map.”</p>
<p>“I already told you, I am not telling you a damn thing about the map, what it holds, or why it is important.”</p>
<p>“I will take what I want from you whether you cooperate at not. Use your own discretion.”</p>
<p>He leaned up against the wall of the room and crossed his arms over his chest. I had not been around very many human men of this… type. He was broody like some of the women that I’d encountered on Jakku, and handsome in the strangest way. He had this attitude about himself that I couldn’t place, but his attitude towards me was quite similar.</p>
<p>I decided to take some matters into my own hands, or I would’ve, if they wouldn’t have been restrained. “Who are you?”</p>
<p>“I could ask you the same thing. Running around with pirates and conspirators. Your identity is so small, and yet you have managed to get yourself into quite a bit of trouble. Do you know what would’ve happened if someone else had captured you in the woods? I doubt that they would’ve been as accommodating as I have. You know who I am, <em>obviously.”</em></p>
<p>I rolled my eyes at this beholding jerk. He’s incredibly prissy for a dark lord. “Kylo Ren. You’re the current second in command of the First Order.”</p>
<p>He slow claps for me sarcastically. “And you?”</p>
<p>“Rey.”</p>
<p>“Just Rey?”</p>
<p>“Just Rey.”</p>
<p>I knew from his expression that he couldn’t tell whether or not I was telling the truth, but I was. My parents were gone and I remember very little about them. He strode closer to me and put a hand near my face, no doubt getting ready to attempt to search my mind for the map that BB-8 had shown me. I was still in awe over the fact that Luke Skywalker wasn’t a myth, and here I was, a captive of his least favorite student.</p>
<p>As he attempted to search my mind, I felt power rise in me. At home I’d never felt powerful- this was a brand new sensation. As Kylo pressed into my mind with the Force, I felt this immense pressure in my head and tried to push back.</p>
<p>Suddenly, blackness flooded the room.</p>
<p>The room ceased to exist and gave way to tangible, thick darkness. I found my limbs free, and waded through it, squinting to see.</p>
<p>Imagine the longest night you have ever experienced, starless and stormy; that’s what this was.</p>
<p>A flicker of red light seemed to be coming from a distance, and with no other choices, I followed it. As the light grew brighter, the room seemed to grow in temperature. It became unbearably hot, singeing the hair on my arms.</p>
<p>The source of the light was coming from a display box on a black table.</p>
<p>I peered into it and was met with the shine of Darth Vader’s infamous helmet.</p>
<p>Immediately, the blackness snapped away and I was back in the room with Ren. Though it felt like hours had passed, it had been mere seconds.</p>
<p>I gritted my teeth, “You are a scared little boy, Kylo Ren.</p>
<p>Afraid of failure.</p>
<p>Afraid that you will never become as great as-</p>
<p>
  <em>Darth Vader.”</em>
</p>
<p>Kylo Ren fell backwards into the wall, and stared at me with shock. Without putting on his cloak or helmet he slammed his hand into the panel on the wall that controlled the doors, and bolted down the hall at a sprint.</p>
<p>I watched him run off, and a Stormtrooper walked into the room in his stead and closed the doors.</p>
<p>It was time to make some rash decisions and try something crazy. Wherever he ran to, I hope that it takes him awhile. I might be able to actually escape this ship of terror</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Supreme Leader Snoke has a habit of being more than unkind to me, which is to be assumed and accepted thanks to my past. That being said, when I burst into the holographic throne room disheveled and with General Hux following in close pursuit, I fell to my knees and waited.</p><p>He appeared and I told him all about this- <em>girl.</em></p><p>Snoke listened dismissively as I recounted the last few hours to him, and when I rose to my feet, he spoke.</p><p>“You think this girl is something resourceful to the Dark Side is what I am gaining from this abrupt conversation?”</p><p>I nodded and then happened to realize what I must look like to him. Frantic and not at all put together, yet another frazzled reminder of what the Jedi have attempted to throw at The Sith, Empire, and First Order over the last five decades.</p><p>At least I have all of <em>that </em>going for me.</p><p>Hux speaks up from behind me, “She’s just a girl, Supreme Leader. Lord Ren has forgotten his place in all of this.”</p><p>I turn to face him, slowly. Ice filled every single inch of my body, and I briefly considered using the Force to carry and throw this redheaded heathen off the edge of the ship into the abyss of space. Snoke let out a bark that sounded like a scoff and a laugh; I turn back to him, knowingly.</p><p>“Kylo Ren. You will not be assassinating the General, at least not today. As for the girl, what are your deductions about her? Your predecessor Darth Vader felt strongly about another girl and it caused him to completely lose sight of his truth. It became his downfall. Is that how far you wish to travel down your grandfathers path?”</p><p>“<em>SHE IS STRONG WITH THE FORCE-</em></p><p>
  <em>Just let me train her.</em>
</p><p>I know that I can convince her to join us, and show her the truth of what a joke Skywalker has made of the last of the Jedi.”</p><p>General Hux let out a snort behind me which I ignored. He’s going to piss off the wrong Knight of Ren one of these days and find himself in pieces. Today is not that day. I might have to speak it over with them and put the idea into their heads, though. They need something to keep themselves busy as we track down the rest of the Resistance army.</p><p>He also understands nothing of the Force; why Snoke has decided that he is also second in command is lost on me entirely.</p><p>I am dismissed from their presence with a warning to be diligent if I decide to teach this young woman on the ways of the Dark Side. With a bow, I find myself almost running back to her interrogation room.</p><p>She was gone.</p><p>Anger boiled through my veins; I lit my lightsaber and tore through the walls, restraints, and floor until I felt that my anger was ebbed.</p><p>
  <em>She will not get away with this.</em>
</p><p>*****</p><p>Several hours passed after the prisoner escaped me, and then the alarms in one of our flight bays signaled the detection of explosives. A battle was raging around us on Starkiller base, no doubt a result of rebel involvement, and for some reason I was the leader that received word first about thermal weapons.</p><p>Immediately, I deployed Stormtroopers to the area and dressed for battle. I spend more time these days dressed for war as a pawn than I do actually getting to fight in them. My doors opened and I headed towards the flight deck alone, since Hux had decided that the troopers had better things to do than guard the second in command of the First Order.</p><p>That is, of course, fine with me.</p><p>I have never needed a keeper.</p><p>As I turned the corner of the hall I felt pain surge through my abdomen. It was almost powerful enough to cause me to vomit, and stopped me in my tracks.</p><p>The feeling caused bile to rise up into my mouth and for once in my life I dreaded wearing a mask. Hidden identity or not, the thought of being covered in previously digested food during a battle was not satisfying.</p><p>I swallowed, hard.</p><p>
  <em>A disturbance in the Force.</em>
</p><p>Not just any disturbance, though-</p><p>Han Solo was here, aboard Starkiller base.</p><p>I felt another energy (or was it energies?) with him, one that was not as sickness inducing, and decided that it must mean he has force-sensitive company.</p><p>Having become more of a figurehead in the last weeks thanks to Snoke, I had been removed from the battlefield.</p><p>Despite the fact that I am one of the strongest trained soldiers in the First Order military.</p><p>Despite the fact that I have given the promise of my life to lead and defend everything Vader fought so hard to maintain.</p><p>A smile played across my lips as I thought about the possibilities awaiting me, and I continued on towards the suspected location.</p><p>Through a window I noticed a figure climbing up to one of our escape pod floors. How strangely familiar it looked. The figure that I could just make out the back of wore a white tunic and dark pants, and their brown hair was harshly thrown into a warrior style.</p><p><em>She is proving to be quite unpredictable,</em> I thought. When you grow into an adult onboard a base like this, you become quite familiar with the most efficient ways to get from place to place. Three catwalks stretched across the bay to provide access for Troopers to clean and inspect ships before and after battles, and I suspected that I could use one of them to cut her off.</p><p>The sound of blasters in the hallway prompted me into action. Quickly and quietly I found my way through the back passages of the base looking for the girl. Another pain lurched through my gut and persisted the closer I got to the midpoint catwalk, but I ignored it and kept my mind on my mission.</p><p>I arrived to the blast doors and manipulated the panel with my mind to open them. Why should I be getting my hands dirty when I have the Force to handle <em>most </em>of my dirty work?</p><p>To my surprise, no one was there. How strange- I definitely felt the disturbances. Close enough to her to feel her power rippling through this area, I smooth out the front of my tunic and walk out onto the catwalk.</p><p>
  <em>I still saw nothing.</em>
</p><p>How perfectly maddening. Maybe there is another place I can try. Maybe Snoke will have some idea about-</p><p>
  <em>“BEN.”</em>
</p><p>The name resonated through the vast room, up to the rafters, and through the open blast door into the waiting hallway. Heavy silence followed.</p><p>What should have filled me with rage filled me with something else. I turned on my heel to face the catwalk, and saw a figure slowly approaching me.</p><p>It got closer. “Son?” it whispered to me.</p><p>“Han Solo.”</p><p>This was no time for any kind of formality. A war criminal and common thief stood in front of me, and a strange memory flooded back to me.</p><p>
  <em>The sun on this planet was too bright for my liking, but the plants that it grew were absolutely beautiful. Plants were the most magnificent reminder of the balance within the Force. The rain caused them to sprout, the sun caused them to grow. Death was inevitable, but their lives held beauty and simplicity as they just existed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was sitting in a field examining purple flowers. My family- well- my dad and my uncle were inside of our ship talking about something that I was not privy to. That was fine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sure my mother was busy; she’s a Sergeant in the Republic Military. Dad says that it suits her better than being a princess- whatever that means. Uncle Luke has been developing a school for padawans like me. He says that we need to be trained to follow the Jedi ways so that we are not seduced by the Dark Side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All I want to do is read my books and study my flowers. Everyone has told me from infancy that the Force is ‘strong within me.’ I know that; it’s my blood that it flows through. When it rains I am at peace, when the sun rages I am angry; I am one with it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Except… I’ve been hearing things. Voices in my head that keep me company. One voice in particular rises above the others, speaking wisdom into me even greater than that of what my uncle has shared. He calls himself Snoke and he is my friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My dad doesn’t like when we talk about the Force and my ‘talents.’ He would rather talk about droid builds and the most updated racing times, but completely shuts me out when I want to ask him questions about the past.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We never really settled down as a family. Everyone is always so busy making plans or serving in armies that they kind of forget about me. Luke is very protective of me and does not allow me to fly ships on my own or befriend strangers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unfortunately my room on this ship is relatively small, so that means I spend a lot of time playing Dejarik in the common area with my dad’s closest friend Chewbacca. Chewy is a Wookie that helped them save the galaxy a long time ago. These days he’s better company than my own family.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We are all supposed to go visit my mother soon, and from there go visit the ancient Jedi Temples. I can’t wait! Finally, a place to hone in on my abilities. Perhaps I am to be one of the students.</em>
</p><p>My mind is so full as I stare into the eyes of my father. Reaching my hands behind my head, I pull my helmet off and allow him the chance to stare back into mine. His hair has grayed and he doesn’t seem as spunky as he did when I was younger; a shame really, I was excited for a fight.</p><p>Allowing myself some brief moments of vulnerability, I speak to him openly. I tell him about the turmoil within my heart; the battling of the light and the darkness that I face every waking moment. He moves closer to me like he wants to embrace me, and I follow suit.</p><p>Nothing that my mouth had just spilled out was untrue. However, my intentions were far from the alignment that he hoped they were. This position that I am in is one of pride. My status was not predetermined by my mother, father, or anyone else; <em>I fought for it.</em></p><p>I fight for it everyday.</p><p>Softening my face, I speak softly. “I know what I have to do, I just don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Can you help me?”</p><p>With a flex of my hand, a flaming lightsaber blade explodes into my father’s side. It pierces deep, cauterizing as it goes, but still delivers a fatal blow. He falls over the edge of the catwalk into an abyss of black.</p><p>Darth Vader’s legacy lives on.</p><p>Shots are fired at me from above and a high pitched voice begins to slander me. <em>Monster. Evil snake. Disgusting.</em></p><p>What a creative mouth. (My mind, being that of a man, lingers on that thought for a moment too long.) Blasts begin to whizz past my head and one meets my shoulder. Pain causes me to see red; my work here needs to be finished.</p><p>I run towards the stairs closest to the balcony where the girl stood as she spat her insults, lightsaber in hand and still ablaze.</p><p>The time has come to convince or kill, and I hope that she chooses well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Rey’s POV</b>
</p><p>Blood is pounding in my ears and I cannot run fast enough. Stormtroopers with blasters are everywhere and I am trying to keep up with Finn as we exit Starkiller base into the obsidian night.</p><p>The stars are out in blazing form, and I am able to make out Resistance ships along the skyline. Whatever they’re doing is working.</p><p>Today is a day that I never imagined that I would live in one million lightyears. I have met the dark lord himself and been his prisoner, I have discovered that I am one with the Force, and I am chasing a former Stormtrooper to potential freedom after witnessing the murder of a Republic war hero.</p><p>All I can think is that returning to Jakku has been completely obliterated from my options. Grief weighs on my heart. Han Solo had become something brilliant to me over these last few weeks and now he was gone too.</p><p>Am I able to love anything without tragedy ruining it?</p><p>No parents. Not even a fake parent that believes in my skills.</p><p>I was better off rummaging through garbage and eating rations. What have I gotten myself into? At least the blaster that I shot at Kylo Ren managed to hit its mark. That should halt him for enough time to make an escape.</p><p>The night is bitterly cold, but Finn and I keep running. I hear a shout come from behind me, and in a way that I will never be able to explain, I knew that it came from Ren.</p><p>He did not know that a legendary blade was clipped to my belt. He may be able to sense the power within me, but he was not strong enough to see the map. If I can just survive long enough to escape this planet, I will be free of this maniac forever. Or at least until I can approach him with reinforcements around.</p><p>There is a clearing ahead of me by about twenty feet. If I can make it there then I might have a hope of being rescued before this base is blown to bits.</p><p>The snow crunches behind me and then I am thrown wildly up into the air. As my limbs flail I hear the familiar hum of a lightsaber. <em>Ren.</em></p><p>My body slams into a tree and my vision goes hazy. The lightsaber that was hanging from my belt is thrown several feet away and lands in the snow. Bits of a screamed conversation are pieced together by my brain, and then lights start flashing around me. Finn and Kylo are dueling behind me, whilst I am defenseless in the snow like a folklore maiden.</p><p>Kylo delivers a painful blow to Finn that I’m sure was meant to be fatal, and I try to steady my breathing and focus.</p><p>The feeling from earlier in the day fills my body. It is slow in the way that a boiling pot starts off slow. Heat rises inside of me as I focus and hone in on every ounce of strength that I might have left.</p><p>Whatever <em>this </em>is- it wants me to listen to it.</p><p>To feel it.</p><p>To <em>become </em>it.</p><p>Kylo’s footsteps behind me resume with a quiet, slow pace. <em>He is injured.</em> <em>Why do I know that? How can I feel that?</em></p><p>His steps are not towards me; he is walking in the other direction back towards the entrance to the base. He stands stock still and reaches out his hand into the night.</p><p>The lightsaber.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kylo’s POV</b>
</p><p>When you are a youngling, your parents often tell you about the Force. At least when your family is of force-sensitive descent. You learn that it is the fabric of all life and death. It heeds no one else’s will but its own.</p><p>Using the Force to move objects requires years of focus and meditation. Defeat is very familiar to most. For some reason that no one could ever explain I was always able to move things no differently than if I used my hands.</p><p>My grandfather’s blade laid a few feet away from me. For someone that was dissuaded from making attachments, I had already made too many. I guess one could say that it runs in the family.</p><p>The Jedi are told that attachments cause a bias in the way of processing the balance of the Force. The Sith teach that attachments hold you back from your true power with the Force.</p><p>No one really wins, here. My attachments thankfully, lie with the side that raised me in the truth. Instead of hiding my true capabilities from me they put time and teaching into me. Rising to the top of the First Order was no small feat but Lord Snoke, who had become more of a father to me than anyone I had ever known, had taken a liking to me and aligned everything perfectly.</p><p>Armitage Hux will argue with you about that. He will tell you that my ascent was paved with haughtiness and my birth name. Someday that man will find himself underwater on a strange planet in a solar system that no one knows about, and I cannot wait.</p><p>But, until then…</p><p>Snow swirled around me and I was suddenly very aware that I was injured. Instead of limping toward the blade in the snow, I reached out my hand to let the Force flow through me and bring it into its rightful ownership.</p><p>The hilt of the saber levitated and flew through the air towards me,</p><p>and right into the hands of the <em>girl.</em></p><p>This <em>girl </em>was causing me a lot of unnecessary trouble. She has no idea what to do with that, and more importantly than that, it is mine by birthright.</p><p>Her hands wrap firmly around the black and silver metal, and the saber zings to life before her. Blue light reflects off of the snow and her face; fear evades her.</p><p>Frustrated, I pull out my saber and light it to life. Blood colored light is cast in her direction, and I hold out my hand to her. “That,” I nod towards the blade in her hands, “is mine. Give it to me. You have no idea the significance of it.”</p><p>Through the blizzard now raging around us, she steps towards me. “Maz told me whose it was. It… it called to me. It showed me things. Horrible and wonderful things. It belongs to the Jedi Master Luke Skywalker; it is most certainly <em>not </em>yours.”</p><p>In a way she was right, it <em>did </em>belong to Luke.</p><p>But, before it belonged to Luke, it belonged to Anakin. The original Chosen One. The original Fall of Man. The man that became the legend that I spend every breath trying to amount to.</p><p>Clueless girl. The Resistance loves to be half honest with people, their General included. General Leia Organa knows all about the man behind the mask, and yet she still sends her little army into big situations where they get blown to bits over and over again.</p><p>Someday, she will meet her comeuppance.</p><p>Perhaps at the mercy of her own fathers’ lightsaber blade.</p><p>I look into the girl- <em>Rey- </em>I look into Rey’s eyes and see no emotion. Gone is any fear of me or the imminent danger of the cold. It is replaced with a steady burning fury; fury that I have only seen before in my own reflection. She may not be startled by this, but I certainly am.</p><p>A nobody has ended up with the lightsaber of Anakin Skywalker, has been running around with rebellious trash, and possesses the power of the Force nearly as strongly as I do.</p><p>And yet is entirely clueless to what this might mean for her.</p><p>For us.</p><p>While my thoughts cause a fair amount of nausea to rise in my stomach, Rey wastes no time clearing the space in the gap between us and swinging the blue blade at me as hard as she can. I meet her swing with an upward block, step back about a foot, and lunge toward her with my own saber.</p><p>Our fight rages through the woods and destroys everything around us. Trees start to fall and the snow melts at our feet. The rebels are succeeding at their takedown mission and Starkiller base rumbles beneath me; it will not last much longer.</p><p>As someone who has never fought with a lightsaber before Rey is unsteady on her feet, but the crystal inside of it obviously recognizes her power as clearly as I do. It responds to her and the Force gives her the power and grace and zeal she needs to dodge my attacks.</p><p>Taken by shock I allow myself a lapse in time to process her skilled maneuver, which she uses as an opportunity to retaliate.</p><p>I can feel the Force in her before she swings. This will not end well for me.</p><p>Her lightsaber comes flying in my direction with all of her might behind it. My momentary contemplation of her skill has left me defenseless and her blade meets its mark.</p><p>Searing pain like I’ve never felt before rips through my face, and leaves me nearly blind. I stumble backwards onto the snow and claw at it to try and escape her. Fire is still burning in her eyes as she stands over me, poised for the kill I’m sure.</p><p>Something loud pulls her attention away from me and I use it as an opportunity to scramble away from her. Regaining ground is important if I want to stand a chance at defeating her. I turn back to face her and see her lugging the traitor with the help of a familiar looking wookie into an even more familiar looking star ship.</p><p>Defeated and in danger, I let her escape. As I board my own transport ship to get off of the base as fast as possible, accompanied by troopers, droids, and military specialists, I stare into the darkness at the small glowing spot as it disappears.</p><p>Something in me that I haven’t felt in many years stirs.</p><p>I ignore it, and the longing that I had to finish that battle the way I wanted to, and storm off to find a doctor droid to fix the mess on my face that Rey created.</p><p>
  <em>Rey.</em>
</p><p>Rey will turn towards me, or she will regret the day she ever turned against me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week has now passed since Rey wounded and escaped me at Starkiller base. Snoke thoroughly rang me out for it, and I have chosen not to sulk or be angry.</p><p>The rebels had destroyed our base and created a new base for themselves. We would attack when we were ready, but for now we must wait.</p><p>I can’t stop thinking about Rey. About the sheer amount of power that radiated off of her. It was unlike anything I had ever seen or experienced before… in anyone but myself.</p><p>Something strange had happened two days ago. I had sensed her here, with me. She could see me and I her, although neither of us could see each others surroundings. It had been unsettling to say the least.</p><p>Rey had thrown nasty words at me and I took each blow in stride. Of course I’m a monster; of course I am a vicious villain and vile snake. She had let on that she’d located Skywalker and was being trained by him. I asked her if she knew; <em>of course </em>she did not know. The lie had lived on for nearly fifteen years and I’m sure would not come to rest anytime soon.</p><p>Her presence was gone almost as quickly as it had ignited, but it left me thinking about the past. The past of a different man with a different legacy to live.</p><p>When I trained under Luke Skywalker, which felt like a completely different lifetime, he was astounded by my capabilities within the Force. <em>So astounded that he tried to kill me because he was afraid of what I could become.</em></p><p>He also thought that I’d burned down the ancient temples that night after he made an attempt on my life with the saber that had just scourged me again. I wish with every fiber of my being that I had been the one to torch it, but I hadn’t. Luke spent eons lying to everyone about it; he lied to Han Solo, to the padawans, even to General Organa. No one was spared from the narrative in which I became the monster.</p><p>And so I did.</p><p>I left him that night in my star cruiser and went straight to Snoke. When I was shamed properly for my name, my identity, and everything that it stood for- I was told to go create a new self.</p><p>When I went to visit a sacred Jedi location later that evening I did just that. Ren and the Knights were there and I had been sent to prove my worth. Before I arrived, I had slaughtered a former friend in cold blood. They tried to convince me to come back to the Jedi and the light, but I couldn’t.</p><p>If Luke truly thought I was a monster, then I was a monster. Embracing fate was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.</p><p>My companion’s death wasn’t good enough for Ren; it wasn’t bloody enough for his taste. When Voe showed up to stop the fight, to stop <em>me- </em>I killed her. Her execution was the nail in Ben Solo’s coffin.</p><p>I fled her body and went to Ren. He decided that what I had done made me worthy to be a Knight. Snoke and Luke had agreed on and been right about something: I was a <em>leader. </em>My saber flickered back to life, an unsavory blue to match the cold blooded murders I’d committed that day, and slashed through him easily.</p><p>His mask did not fit me in a way that I admired, so I had this new one made. Something dark to cover up my former crimes. Darth Vader had worn a mask because Obi Wan nearly killed him in a duel; I wear a mask because Luke Skywalker nearly killed me in my sleep. We must do whatever it takes to survive.</p><p>I was stalking about on The Finalizer in search of my new bedroom. The newly crafted furniture had been moved into here when the threats on Starkiller base had surfaced. Despite it being days since the attacks, my injury had left me disoriented and I was having trouble finding my room.</p><p>A small black and silver droid passed me in the dark hallway, green light emitting from its buttons. Realizing that it would have a map somewhere in its memory I stop. It was a BB unit of average droid height. “Show me a map to my room.”</p><p>Scared beeps were emitted as it projected a holograph into the air. My room was three levels down to the right. I dismissed the droid and headed towards it. Sleep was a luxury around here now and I needed to indulge soon.</p><p>An elevator took me down and gave way to a dimly lit hall in the heart of the ship. Stormtroopers were not to be seen anywhere, and it seemed as though I had been placed far away from Hux and his followers. <em>Fine with me.</em></p><p>I entered and threw off my mask and cloak. The shower in my washroom was calling to me enchantingly, and I pulled my tunic off with clear intentions to head into it.</p><p>It happened again.</p><p>Rey stood across from me, and once again, I could only see her. She was soaking wet like she’d been caught in a downpour, and her hair hung limp by her shoulders.The young woman whom had never shown me even an ounce of defeat looked completely lost. When she notices me she asks me to cover myself up; I ignore her entirely. I am too taken by the fact that she can go up against a leader of the First Order and come out alright, and be shaken by something that is evidently much smaller.</p><p>“What do you want?” she asked me.</p><p>No bite was in her words. Anger and rage had given way to brokenness. This was a feeling that I knew all to well, but one that I hadn’t experienced in a decade.</p><p>“Why does this keep happening?” I ask her in response. “Are you alright?”</p><p>Without answering me I notice her walk through a doorway. Our connection is not lost, the door obviously left open, and I decide to follow her. Rey is sitting on a small cot glancing out the window.</p><p>“I really am nobody. I thought- I thought that if I could go there and <em>see myself, </em>really see myself and get answers, that I would know. But I am just a nobody. Utterly alone. I would have been better off in Jakku. At least there I had people to talk to and places to discover.”</p><p>Her identity crisis plagued me deeply. Can she really not feel the power within herself? I walk over to the edge of my bed and sit down. “How is training? Is Luke Skywalker grand and mysterious like you thought he would be?”</p><p>She bit her lip. “Mysterious and incredibly lackluster. This isn’t what I had expected.” Her eyes met mine and she tilted her head. “He talks about you.”</p><p>“Does he say much?”</p><p>“He says that he trained y- Ben Solo, back before, you know. Before everything happened.”</p><p>He must have told her that he’s my uncle, then. A man of lies that divulges secrets. Will he ever become more entertaining. “Did he tell you everything?”</p><p>“He told me about the temple.”</p><p>I shook my head and pushed my hair out of my face. “No. Did he tell you? Everything? Why I left? Why the temple burned to the ground and who was responsible?”</p><p>Rey slowly looked down at the ground and shook her head no.</p><p>After spending years hiding my identity and running from false accusation, I decided to do something as risky as I did that night with Snoke. I ran my hands through my hair and took a breath to even myself.</p><p>And then I told Rey everything.</p><p>Sparing no details I bared my soul to her. My mouth moved faster than my brain. she made it too easy to share my secrets, and the vulnerability I felt with her was enough to make my heart ache. I hadn’t felt this vulnerable around a female in a very long time. Not since… Not since Voe.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rey’s POV</b>
</p><p>The man formerly known as Ben Solo sat in front of me and recounted his life story. He told me how his mother and father decided that it would be best for Luke to train him as a Jedi, and how excited he had been to be a part of it.</p><p>He told me about the deep anguish he felt as a child. His father misunderstood him and he was often left alone on the Falcon with only his thoughts as company. Snoke had found him and befriended him through the Force, and then taught him the balance that came with it. </p><p>My stomach churned as he told me about a night when he was a teenager. He had gone to meditate earlier in the day and struggled. His power with the Force was overwhelming and it was as if nothing could help him. Feeling defeated he’d gone to bed early that night-</p><p>only to be awoken with his Uncle, Luke Skywalker, standing over his head clutching the saber that was now strapped to my side.</p><p>It had been a brief battle. Ben caused the building to collapse around them both and never saw Luke escape. He decided that it meant he was dead and ran to board his ship to escape himself. His friends chased after him; he murdered one of them.</p><p>As he left he saw the temples burning to the ground. Something that was easily accredited to the leftover Empire and their burning rage against the Jedi. With nowhere to go, he turned to Snoke for answers, and the rest might as well be history.</p><p>He exhaled slowly when he finished recounting, “See? You aren’t alone. You’re never alone. Those of us that have been bastardized by the ones we loved have to stay together.”</p><p>“Neither are you. Alone, I mean.”</p><p>The words startled both of us. Heat flooded my cheeks as I realized what I had just insinuated to him… but it was the truth. Kylo- Ben- whomever he was now, he met my embarrassed gaze with a steely one.</p><p>I started to wonder if he remembered what it felt like to smile or feel joy. It made my heart ache because, <em>did I remember how to do those things?</em></p><p>He reached his hand out to me across the emptiness of the hut. I instinctively went to swat it away; I thought that because of the force-connection my hand would just pass through his.</p><p>Our fingers touched and it made my skin burn. He interlaced his fingers into mine with gentleness that you would think a man in his position incapable of. For just a moment it felt like everything and nothing mattered all at once. Darkness and lightness, and evil and good, nothing mattered other than the fact that two lost people had just realized that maybe they weren’t so lost after all.</p><p>I saw a future there. A man so similar looking to Kylo Ren, but healthier, <em>happier,</em> dressed in a white tunic with brown pants and wielding a blue lightsaber. He was surrounded by all of my new companions, and even Leia was happy to see her son returned to her.</p><p>He could turn! He will turn, if this was the Force showing me a vision.</p><p>My daze was interrupted by Luke slamming the door of my hut open, and lighting his lightsaber when he saw Kylo sitting with me. The force of the air caused the candles to all go out at once, and my connection with him was lost instantly.</p><p>I stared into the eyes of Master Luke as he told me to leave him. Everything was a lie. <em>Everything was a lie. </em>I reached into my tunic and brought out the saber that I now knew had belonged to Anakin. “Why did you do it? Why did you try to KILL HIM?”</p><p>“I saw the power in him and saw what he could become! I was afraid! As soon as I pulled out my weapon, I immediately regretted it. It was too late, though. He’d awoken and found me out- so I let him think that I was dead. For all these years, I let everyone think I was dead.”</p><p>“You weren’t dead! You even knew about the temple and never once stepped in to deny that it had been him. You lied to everyone for years.”</p><p>It seemed like every time I thought I found myself that I was let down. Taken away. Lied to. The Resistance, <em>Leia, </em>they all had to have known the truth, right?</p><p>Luke looked at me with shame deep in his eyes. It didn’t matter to me how he felt-</p><p>I wanted him to die. If he died, he would know what it felt like for Ben to kill off the only identity that he’d ever known to escape Luke’s wicked lies about him.</p><p>Bitterness swept over me like a cloud and I lit the saber in my hand.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I thought about killing him; it wouldn’t be hard to do. I would have to fight him harder than I fought Kylo in that forest, though. My mind ran through options and I shifted the weight of the lightsaber between my hands.</p><p>“I should kill you, you know. I could. It would be very difficult, but I could.”</p><p>Luke nodded at me. He tried to maintain a casual calm about himself, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he realized truth in my threat.</p><p>How can someone have family like that and just try to <em>kill them? </em>I would die to even know about the family that had been taken from me. Luke had threatened and abandoned his; some Master he was.</p><p>Without pondering his death anymore I flicked out my saber and turned toward the coast. I had to go to Kylo. I needed answers, but more than anything, I needed to be around someone else that understood the smothering loneliness of the last fifteen years of existence.</p><p>When I’d flown to this planet to train, I’d come aboard the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo’s favorite wookie. Something felt wrong about taking it to see Kylo. After all he had told me, I didn’t want to remind him anymore than I had to about the things that he’d lost.</p><p><em>The Force. </em>I hiked through the hills until I found the damp entrance to a cave. Grass and moss covered it and kept it from immediately being seen. Maybe I’ll be able to focus here.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kylo’s POV</b>
</p><p>The lights from her hut were extinguished by the rush of wind when the door slammed. I caught a glimpse of a face that appeared to be Luke Skywalker, and then they both vanished and left me alone and in the dark.</p><p>Coldness spread over me. Was I worried about Rey? This girl who had come out of nowhere had begun to infiltrate my thoughts. She was <em>wrecking </em>my mind.</p><p>How was I connecting with her? I would ask Snoke about it all, but I do not think he’d be very forthcoming. He would be disturbed that someone with light-side tendencies is having this kind of effect on me.</p><p>I leaned into my sheets. The blanket felt slick and cold against my back and arms, and I allowed myself to get momentarily lost in the feeling. Everything had been overwhelming since I killed Han Solo and I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know if I was supposed to fix it. I didn’t know anything.</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <em>KYLO.</em>
</p><p>A voice echoed into my empty bedroom. I jumped and sat up stock straight. My bedroom was dark and precise as I left it. <em>Where had that scream come from?</em></p><p>I heard it again; one lone, sorrowful yell that seemed to be echoing in a cavern.</p><p>“Hello?” I spoke. Feeling foolish, I undressed the rest of the way and slipped back into my bed. Killing Han Solo had left me with some interesting problems to deal with in my head and I completely decided that this was a new one to add to the list.</p><p>The moment I shut my eyes to resume sleeping, I awoke somewhere else. The room, if you would call it that because it was a glorified hole in the side of a mountain, was freezing cold and the rain was pouring down outside of it.</p><p>A small fire was lit in the corner and someone was sleeping beside. When I noticed who it was I felt the urge to rip my lightsaber through something to calm the pain that bloomed in my chest. For some reason it wasn’t with me.</p><p>I padded towards her, and immediately became aware that I was underdressed to be waking up a woman in a strange cave. Even if I was dreaming. That would also explain the missing blade.</p><p>Unfortunately my decision was made for me. She sensed someone was with her and woke up instantly, jumping into an attack stance and lighting her stolen blue lightsaber. When she noticed it was me she flicked it out and placed her hand against her chest. “You heard me.”</p><p>So it <em>was </em>someone screaming. Interesting. “Yes. I’m not particularly used to females screaming out my name into dark caves at three in the galactic morning. Why did you yell for me? Where is Skywalker?”</p><p>Disgust passed across her features and she shrugged. “Probably somewhere drinking milk from a dangerous looking mammal. He might be scouting for me. He’s closed off the Force entirely though, so I don’t think he can feel that I’m still on the island with him, much less the planet.”</p><p>My mind began to race. This young woman had all but spat in my face when I interrogated her, and here she was in some abandoned solar system harnessing the same energy towards my biggest enemy.</p><p>Her priorities are as fucked as mine.</p><p>
  <em>I think I like it.</em>
</p><p>“So is that why you called for me? Are you a damsel in distress that needs rescuing from a Master that isn’t what you thought he’d be?” Though I tried to keep the bite in my voice from coming through, I’m sure that I’ve failed based upon the look on her face.</p><p>“I am no damsel.” She shouted angrily into the night and then plopped down beside of the fire. “I give up; I didn’t want this. Shouldn’t have left Jakku to begin with. I knew better.”</p><p>“Jakku,” I said, walking closer and sitting down on the mossy rock across from her, “is a disgusting trash heap that I should’ve blasted out of the sky after we raided that village and chased you off of it.”</p><p>“Well Master Ren, you certainly have a way with women. Listen to all of that eloquence in your voice.” Sarcasm dripped off of her with the rain.</p><p>I bit back a laugh.</p><p>Then it hit me; <em>she called me Master Ren.</em></p><p>“Master?”</p><p>Rey threw up her hands. “I need <em>someone </em>to show me how to control this shit! I can levitate pebbles but I want to know more than that. I want to feel more than that. I want to be more than just some nobody from Jakku that knows how to make small rocks float.”</p><p>She doesn’t want honor and respect, she wants to experience the Force in all of its power. The way it was <em>meant </em>to be done.</p><p>I raked my hands through my hair and started to explain to her about the difference in the darkness and the light. How the light side seems to be beautiful and the dark daunting, but that it is very much the other way around.</p><p>The First Order doesn’t have rules like the Jedi and their Resistance. They have their own rules and regulations that they follow, that are not as calm and collected as everyone seems to think. Many people think that we follow Snoke blindly. We tend to make our own rules that just revolve around respect to the Supreme Leader and submission to the Force and its power.</p><p>Even if you aren’t sensitive to it, you are expected to believe in it. Believe that it chooses the powerful to lead the weak. The Sith were stricter than we were about personal and interpersonal relationships. However as we’ve progressed, we have discussed that attachments can be both a weakness and a strength. It is up to us to decide.</p><p>The Resistance is different- for an organization that preaches freedom from authority, they have hierarchy and rules out the ass. They have ranks based more on a feeling than on capability, and their attachments create rifts in relationships that never heal.</p><p><em>I would know</em>.</p><p>Rey leaned back onto her hands and listened to me. I’ve become quite passionate about my dedication to the First Order and the darkness, despite the feeling in my gut that pulls me towards the light.</p><p>“So you’re saying that entire basis of the Republic was based on feelings and an awareness of each other rather than an awareness of the Force?” Rey’s question was quiet, with contemplation. Her nose was scrunched up and she drew her knees up to her face.</p><p>“That’s exactly what I’m saying. When I was young I really appreciated it; all of the bonding and love and hatred for things that weren’t good really made me feel something. Until it made me feel too much, but you know how all of that ended up.”</p><p>Being powerful destroyed everything about me- well- about Ben. It did that because no one taught me how to harness my capabilities; they taught me how to avoid them. To ‘become one with the Force’ and suppress everything about my own identity.</p><p>So I destroyed it.</p><p>I thought I took Skywalker down with it, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe this was my chance.</p><p>“You are no damsel.”</p><p>Rey was crying and I hadn’t noticed. She looked up at me and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Tell me how to get to you. I don’t want,” she motioned around the cave, “I don’t want this. I want to learn, <em>really learn.</em>”</p><p>The tears on her face renewed a fresh anger within me against Skywalker. I prefer killing people to making them live with the kind of anguish that makes them seek out painful solitude. Suffering is only useful in small bits when trying to get people to give you details about situations that they’ve previously omitted. I cocked my head to the side and looked at the girl in front of me. All she had ever known was being left behind by people who pretended to care… and it felt strangely familiar to me in a way that I didn’t want it to.</p><p>“Where are you?”</p><p>Rey wiped her face again, “It’s an aquatic planet. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Master Sky- <em>Luke’s</em> R2 unit had the rest of the map in it and Han’s wookie brought me here. I thought I could, I don’t know, convince Luke to train me to be a Jedi?”</p><p>She stood up and looked me up and down with raised eyebrows. “How are you here? And why are you never clothed properly?”</p><p>“I don’t know. The Force has connected us for some reason.” I chuckled at her other comment, “As far as my state of undress, this is typically how I sleep. Your screaming worried me- so apologies for not dressing for the occasion. I will remember to put on my helmet before offering my services next time.”</p><p>Any other woman would have only sensed the rage in me, but Rey noticed my returned sarcasm and rolled her eyes at me. <em>At me. </em>Commander Kylo Ren. This girl was going to be the death of me.</p><p>I racked my brain for abandoned aquatic planets. <em>Aquaris. Tion.</em></p><p>It dawned on me; <em>Ahch-To</em>.</p><p>“Are you on a planet that is mostly ocean?”</p><p>Rey nodded. “With some kind of island dedicated to the Jedi. A memorial of sorts maybe? I think there’s a temple but I didn’t make it that far.”</p><p>Skywalker had told me during my training of the locations of two other Jedi Temples, but mentioned that they had both become little more than ruin. Evidently they were well sustained enough for him to hide out near one all this time.</p><p>Plans started to form in my brain. Big plans. Starkiller may have been blown to absolute shit, but we still had ways of decimating things. Perhaps my <em>friends </em>would be willing to assist me with this one.</p><p>“Will you be alright? Can you manage to not die long enough for me to consult with the Supreme Leader and rally some people together?”</p><p>Looking offended, she nodded again. “I’ve survived this long. I don’t need rescuing… Just some help. A teacher of sorts- a true master of the Force.”</p><p>
  <em>A Master.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Master Kylo Ren.</em>
</p><p>It had a nice ring to it.</p><p>“Well, stay put then.”</p><p>It was time to finally live up to the legacy of destruction that Luke Skywalker wrote for Ben Solo over the last two decades; it was time to go set a Jedi Temple ablaze.</p>
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